Things Parents of Children with Special Needs Should Know
by Paula Rosenthal, J.D. Founder and Editor of HearingExchange.com
Parenting is often a stressful job. Juggling children's
schedules, carpools, activities and homework can wreak havoc
on any home. If you have a child with special needs, you may
be adding therapy appointments, school management issues,
doctors appointments and more to the mix. You can easily
become worn out, over-stressed or even depressed. Since
your child relies on you, it is important for you to attend to
staying healthy both physically and emotionally. What follows
are five simple, common sense steps to help you keep yourself
feeling confident and strong.
1. Seek out support. Don't wait until you are overwhelmed
and struggling to look for help. Find people who have children
with similar special needs. You will be surprised at how much
help, support and information you may receive from them. In
your community, check with your school district to see if they
offer a Special Education Parent Teacher Association (SEPTA)
or similar support group. Even if other members have children
with different needs than yours, you will find many common
topics to discuss. Check your library or online for national
organizations that deal with your child's disability. Often, they
offer support for parents through conventions, workshops
and publications. There are online groups and listservs that
deal with virtually every disability. People are only too willing to
share their experiences and offer advice, tips and resources.
Support can come in many forms and help you in ways you
don't expect.
2. Take time out for yourself. Even if you feel pressed for
time, you need to carve out time to focus on yourself. Set
aside your daily chores or work for a little while. Take an hour
once a day or even once a week and do something just for
you. Exercising, getting a manicure or visiting a local park or
place of interest can be refreshing and serve to renew your
perspective. Don't put off things you want to do until your
child is older, or you feel he doesn't need you as much. By
fulfilling some of your needs, you will be happier and more able
to tackle issues that come your way.
3. Cultivate friendships. You and your child will both benefit
if you make an effort to meet and get to know your neighbors
and their children. If your child is in a special school rather than
the local public school, this is especially important. Friendships
made outside the realm of your child's educational environment
can be especially rewarding for you, your child and the other
child as well. Children learn compassion and patience when
they get to know others not quite like them. By introducing
yourself and your child around your neighborhood, you will
make some new friends and will not feel so isolated from the
community.
4. Follow your gut instincts. Always remember that you are
the expert on your child. No one knows him better than you
do. If you feel that a doctor, teacher or other professional
does not understand your child's needs, find another one. Just
because someone has a degree or a reputation in a particular
field doesn't mean they are the right one for you or your child.
The decisions you make with your medical and other
professionals can have longterm effects on your child's life.
Make sure you are comfortable with them.
5. Do your own research. Knowledge is power. Don't rely on
the "experts" to make decisions for you and your child. Think
of yourself as a member of your child's team. Find out what
you can about all aspects of your child's disability. Learn about
the latest medical treatments and technology available. Ask to
meet people who have already experienced these. They will be
one of your best sources for information. Research the social
and emotional aspects of your child's disability. The earlier you
are informed and the more you know of pertinent information,
the better off your child will be.
Parenting a child with special needs can be time consuming and
at times, frustrating. Your personal needs should not be swept
aside while your child is growing up. Your frame of mind plays
an important role in effective parenting and decision making.
Keep these tips in mind so that you can feel content with
yourself and confident in your decisions. By following these
steps, you and your family will all reap the rewards.
Paula Rosenthal, J.D. is married and a mother of two young children. Paula, her husband and their daughter are all hearing impaired. Their son has normal hearing. A law school graduate, Paula is the founder and editor of HearingExchange.com, http://www.HearingExchange.com, a community for people with hearing loss, parents of deaf and hard of hearing children and the professionals who work with them. Subscribe to HearingExchange News at http://lb.bcentral.com/ex/manage/subscriberprefs?customerid=6181.
Copyright © Paula Rosenthal, 2001. Reproduction of this article requires written permission of the author. Email info@hearingexchange.com with your request.
