Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 12:30 pm Post subject: the release of tension
hey everyone, i am kind of having a rough day today, and i need to release some tension, and maybe vent for a minute or two.
I could not be happier being a new mommy, my little mykenzi means the world to me, i would do anything, go to any heights for her, to make her happy and get her what she needs, but it is so hard to do all of this when her father wont even acknowledge her existence!!! there are some nights that i feel like i screwed up because now she only has me, and a delinquent dad!! he wasnt there for the birth, he hasnt seen her, and when i talked to him for the first time in a month last week, he didnt even ask how she was doing! I know he is her father because we were engaged when i got pregnant, and when i told him i was pregnant, he dipped out, and broke everything off! and he knows that he is her father, but still, he wants nothing to do with her! WHY!?!?!?!? he is treating me like i did this all by myself, and like he had no part in it!!! it is so depressing, i feel sorry sometimes that such an innocent little girl is going to have to learn one day what an inconsiderate and delinquent ****-up her father is!!!
k i feel a little better now, thank for listening lol
on a side note, i was stikcing my tongue out at mykenzi last night, and she was mocking me, she is so awesome to sit and play with, she is starting to have a regular pattern of awake and sleep time, and hen she is awake i jsut sit and play with her, you can see tha happiness in her face! makes me day when i hear her waking up cuz i know ill get to play with her and make her happy!!
You sound like a wonderfull mother; so caring and involved with Mykenzi, she is lucky to have you. If her daddy is as much of a ****-up as you say then she is definately better off without him. Sometimes it is better for a child to have one good parent rather than two but one of which is a bad influence. To an extent I know what you are going through. He hasn't left me but I have serious doubts about things...I know he loves me and Hannah but he is kind of a ****-up too Anyway I hope you start to feel better soon!
{{HUGS}}
I know its hard sweetie but you and your baby sound like your WAY better off without him... Keep your head up and we're always here for you for support {{HUGS}}
Joined: 18 Sep 2004 Posts: 904 Location: Long Island
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 9:51 pm Post subject:
Melisa you can't let this dip of a guy make you feel guilty. You can never let someone have that sort of control over you. He doesn't sound like a dad so I wouldn't even refer to him as one. He is her father; that's it. And if he is that much of a deliquent you are better off that he's not in her life. If you would do anything for her that the best thing to do for her is to stay away from him. When she gets older if she wants to know about him that's fine but until then I wouldn't want him around my baby. THe best thing you got from him was your daughter. Enjoy that and don't look back
Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 13 Location: upstate ny
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 4:23 pm Post subject:
to some extent, i know what you're going through. i'm sorry, and i wish there were something i could do for you because i have an idea how difficult it gets and how much it can hurt
DON'T EVER feel like you screwed up >> your ex is a insert-string-of-profanity-here who completely misrepresented himself and his intentions. the only thing _you_ did was open yourself up and dare to love and trust, there's nothing wrong with that! look at it like this: your ex was a mistake, but he's a mistake made because you were lied to and misguided; YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.
i assume that b/c he's not involved physically or emotionally, he's not absent financially, as well. if you haven't already done it, look into filing for child support (even if you don't think you need it!) and sole custody, as well.
thank you everyone for your comments, sometimes it just helps hearing the words "your doing a great job" to make everything better, so i appreciate what everyone has said. As far as financial support.. he is negligent there as well! as he so kindly puts it "i have other bills to be paid" i have an appointment next week, to get hard proof of him being the father, and to get the ball rolling on child support as well as sole custody!!
im doing much better however, i just seems to go through phases, like one day ill be happy go lucky, and get everyting done as far as housecleaning and laundry and caring for baby, and other days, i spend all day sleeping, except of course when im awake with mykenzi, its just gonna take some getting use to on my part i think.
hmm, what else.. OH! down tehre below my ticker is a link to mykenzis webpage.. on the very first page, i have 2 pictures of her smiling, i know it seems early, but just look at em, lol, its sooo darn adorable!!
Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 13 Location: upstate ny
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 12:17 am Post subject:
ack! i need to stop looking at newborn pics, they make me want another one. my son was 2+ wks late, so i didn't get much itsybitsybaby time. i say that like he's 6ft tall and 200lbs or something, hehe
but anyway... that smile *is* adorable; mykenzi's such a cutie! good luck to you with everything. keep your head up and hang in there.
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Anyway I hope you start to feel better soon! 
