If you are serious about this ( sorry, but there have been alot of fake posts on this board) then you need to tell someone. The worst thing is noone knowing. I was bullemic for 2 years and it was the worst time of my life. My mom found out and that is the only reason I am okay today ( and 16 wks preg). If you want to talk you can email me . I can definitely relate to how you are feeling.