Posted by Materni-Tee.com on September 05, 2003 at 02:40:23:
In Reply to: Materni-T posted by Mels on September 05, 2003 at 00:10:12:
Again I can’t come up with an adequate response, as I haven’t been through what you have. I hope you find empathy soon as it is harder to cope with a problem no-one else can relate to.
I want to try to comfort you on a couple of issues however. What you went through for your son was awesome, no matter how many people realise it. I’m sure however that he will realise one day and will value your forbearance.
As for bonding, that started before he was born, and nothing can take that away. You are his mother. He is your son. That is immutable. Yours is the voice he heard for those mysterious months while his conscious mind was awakening. Your bond will endure your absence at work.
It would be better if you could still be looking after him full time, but we don’t live in an ideal world. You have done very well by him in arranging a loving relative to look after him. It’s hard to look at the glass as half full when you don’t want to nurture your child ‘by halves’. But you are living for him even when you are working.
I hope you will not always look at the time spent making yourself ‘well’ again as wasted. No-one is more important to your son than you, and that means you have to look after yourself. For both of your sakes.
I’m sorry to hear your husband was not as supporting as you would hope. I don’t know what his agenda is, but I can’t think of one more important than his partner and his baby.
I hope things improve for you. And I hope you find some of the understanding you deserve at home, at work and on the net.
I’ll be offline til next week. Best wishes.
This page