Comments on: Teething and an update on some of the issues I’ve written about before. http://www.baby-place.com/blog/2006/03/23/teething-and-an-update-on-some-of-the-issues-ive-written-about-before/ Cool Items and Must Haves for The New MOM or MOM to be. Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:57:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.1 by: Esther http://www.baby-place.com/blog/2006/03/23/teething-and-an-update-on-some-of-the-issues-ive-written-about-before/#comment-9 Wed, 29 Mar 2006 12:51:59 +0000 http://www.baby-place.com/blog/2006/03/23/teething-and-an-update-on-some-of-the-issues-ive-written-about-before/#comment-9 When it comes to smacking, it's not the frequency - it's the message it sends. It teaches her that the bigger person wins, and why not use it against her brother if he is smaller? Also, what happens when she gets bigger and can't be controled with a small smack? Do the smacks get bigger? If the point is that it is something she doesn't like, why not some other punishment like taking away a toy or privelege? At some point children need to learn to moderate conflict through compromise and consequences - if she can't share, she can't have friends come over. It's a natural consequence of the action and will have more impact than something random like taking away TV time. In my personal experience, the more you are mean and arbitrary the less likely they are to respect your authority and listen in the future. We can teach them appropriate behavior by modeling it ourselves - which of course makes us realize how very difficult these behaviors can be :) When it comes to smacking, it’s not the frequency - it’s the message it sends. It teaches her that the bigger person wins, and why not use it against her brother if he is smaller? Also, what happens when she gets bigger and can’t be controled with a small smack? Do the smacks get bigger? If the point is that it is something she doesn’t like, why not some other punishment like taking away a toy or privelege?

At some point children need to learn to moderate conflict through compromise and consequences - if she can’t share, she can’t have friends come over. It’s a natural consequence of the action and will have more impact than something random like taking away TV time. In my personal experience, the more you are mean and arbitrary the less likely they are to respect your authority and listen in the future. We can teach them appropriate behavior by modeling it ourselves - which of course makes us realize how very difficult these behaviors can be :)

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