Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. This is a
glorious time in your life. Whether this is your first baby or your fifth, you
will find this a time of recovery, adjustment, sometimes confusion and
frustration, but — most wonderfully — of falling in love.
Babies younger than four months old have very different
sleep needs than older babies. This article will help you understand your
newborn baby’s developing sleep patterns, and will help you develop reasonable
expectations when it comes to your baby and sleep.
Learn, and Beware of Bad Advice
Absolutely everyone has an opinion about how you
should handle sleep issues with your new baby. The danger to a new parent is
that these tidbits of misguided advice (no matter how well-intentioned) can
truly have a negative effect on our parenting skills and, by extension, our
babies’ development…if we are not aware of the facts. The more knowledge
you have the less likely that other people will make you doubt your parenting decisions.
When you have your facts straight, and when you have a
parenting plan, you will be able to respond with confidence to those who are
well-meaning but offering contrary or incorrect advice. So, your first step is
to get smart! Know what you are doing, and know why you are doing
it. Read books and magazines, attend classes or support groups – it all helps.
The Biology of Newborn Sleep
During the early months of your baby's life, he sleeps when
he is tired, it’s really that simple. You can do very little to force a new
baby to sleep when he doesn’t want to sleep, and conversely, you can do little
to wake him up when he is sleeping soundly.
A very important point to understand about newborn babies is that they have
very, very tiny tummies. New babies grow rapidly, their diet is liquid, and it
digests quickly. Formula digests quickly and breast milk digests even more
rapidly. Although it would be nice to lay your little bundle down at a
predetermined bedtime and not hear a peep from him until morning, even the most
naïve among us know that this is not a realistic goal for a tiny baby.
Newborns need to be fed every two to four hours — and sometimes more.
During those early months, your baby will have tremendous
growth spurts that affect not only daytime, but also nighttime feeding as well,
sometimes pushing that two- to four-hour schedule to a one- to two-hour
schedule around the clock.
Sleeping “through the night”
You have probably heard that babies should start
"sleeping through the night" at about two to four months of age. What
you must understand is that, for a new baby, a five-hour stretch is a
full night. Many (but nowhere near all) babies at this age can sleep
uninterrupted from midnight to 5 a.m. (Not that they always do.) A far cry from
what you may have thought "sleeping through the night" meant!
What's more, while the scientific definition of “sleeping
through the night” is five hours, most of us wouldn’t consider that anywhere
near a full night’s sleep for ourselves. Also, some of these
sleep-through-the-nighters will suddenly begin waking more frequently, and it’s
often a full year or even two until your little one will settle into a mature,
all-night, every night sleep pattern.
Falling Asleep at the Breast or
It is very natural for a newborn to fall asleep while
sucking at the breast, a bottle, or a pacifier. When a baby always falls
asleep this way, he learns to associate sucking with falling asleep; over time,
he cannot fall asleep any other way. I have heard a number of sleep experts
refer to this as a “negative sleep association.” I certainly disagree, and so
would my baby. It is probably the most positive, natural, pleasant sleep
association a baby can have. However, a large percentage of parents who are
struggling with older babies who cannot fall asleep or stay asleep are fighting
this natural and powerful sucking-to-sleep association.
Therefore, if you want your baby to be able to fall asleep
without your help, it is essential that you sometimes let your newborn
baby suck until he is sleepy, but not totally asleep. When you can, remove the
breast, bottle, or pacifier from his mouth and let him finish falling asleep
without something in his mouth. When you do this, your baby may resist, root,
and fuss to regain the nipple. It’s perfectly okay to give him back the breast,
bottle, or pacifier and start over a few minutes later. If you do this often
enough, he will eventually learn how to fall asleep without sucking.
Waking for Night Feedings
Many pediatricians recommend that parents shouldn't let a
newborn sleep longer than three or four hours without
and the vast majority of babies wake far more frequently than that. (There
are a few exceptional babies who can go longer.) No matter what, your baby will
wake up during the night. The key is to learn when you should pick her up for a
night feeding and when you can let her go back to sleep on her own.
This is a time when you need to focus your instincts and
intuition. This is when you should try very hard to learn how to read your
baby’s signals. Here’s a tip that is critically important for you to know.
Babies make many sleeping sounds, from grunts to whimpers to outright cries,
and these noises don’t always signal awakening. These are what I call sleeping
noises, and your baby is nearly or even totally asleep during these episodes. I
remember when my first baby, Angela, was a newborn. Her cry awakened me many
times, yet she was asleep in my arms before I even made it from cradle to
rocking chair. She was making sleeping noises. In my desire to respond to my
baby’s every cry, I actually taught her to wake up more often!
You need to listen and watch your baby carefully. Learn to
differentiate between these sleeping sounds and awake and hungry sounds. If she
is awake and hungry, you’ll want to feed her as quickly as possible. If you
respond immediately when she is hungry, she will most likely go back to sleep
quickly. But, if you let her cry escalate, she will wake herself up totally,
and it will be harder and take longer for her to go back to sleep. Not to
mention that you will then be wide awake, too!
Help Your Baby Distinguish Day
A newborn baby sleeps about sixteen to eighteen hours per day, and this sleep is distributed
evenly over six to seven brief sleep periods. You can help your baby
distinguish between nighttime sleep and daytime sleep, and thus help him sleep
longer periods at night.
Begin by having your baby take his daytime naps in a lit
room where he can hear the noises of the day, perhaps a bassinet or cradle
located in the main area of your home. Make nighttime sleep dark and quiet. You
can also help your baby differentiate day naps from night sleep by using a
nightly bath and a change into sleeping pajamas to signal the difference
between the two.
Watch for Signs of Tiredness
One way to encourage good sleep is to get familiar with your
baby's sleepy signals and put her down to sleep as soon as she seems tired. A
baby cannot put herself to sleep, nor can she understand her own sleepy signs.
Yet a baby who is encouraged to stay awake when her body is craving sleep is
typically an unhappy baby. Over time, this pattern develops into sleep
deprivation, which further complicates your baby’s developing sleep maturity.
Learn to read your baby’s sleepy signs -- such as quieting down, losing
interest in people and toys, and fussing -- and put her to bed when that window
of opportunity presents itself.
Make Yourself Comfortable
I’ve yet to hear a parent tell me that she or he loves
getting up throughout the night to tend to a baby’s needs. As much as we adore
our little bundles, it’s tough when you’re woken up over and over again, night
after night. Since it’s a fact that your baby will be waking you up, you
may as well make yourself as comfortable as possible. The first step is to
learn to relax about night wakings right now. Being stressed or frustrated
about having to get up won’t change a thing. The situation will improve day by
day; and before you know it, your little newborn won’t be so little anymore —
she’ll be walking and talking and getting into everything in sight…during the
day, and sleeping peacefully all night long.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill/Contemporary
Publishing from The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
Elizabeth Pantley, copyright 2002 Website: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth