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Posted by MarybethW on December 14, 2002 at 21:19:53:
Hi Aimee, First - where in Upstate NY? My folks are in NY, near Albany, and I grew up just over the border in the Berkshires. Second - I think I remember responding to a post of yours a while back about your son's change in temperament and his needing to be carried around all day. I think I was one of the folks who suggested the carrier. Just wanted to let you know my experiences with my daughter regarding this subject, mostly so you won't feel alone, but also to give you some hope for change. From the get-go, Alex was one of those kids who just needed a lot of human contact and attention, etc... my husband and I accommodated as much as humanly possible. She also cried a lot, and slept very little. So, needless to say, I feel your pain when you say you're burnt. I felt very guilty, but when she was three months old I was so relieved to go back to work part time, just to get a break and be able to sit down for a few minutes and eat a meal with two hands. When Alex was about a month old I finally started to question some of her issues. Long story short, turns out she's got lots of food intolerances. After we figured that out and started to accommodate her dietary needs (it took us a good 2 months to completely sort it out, which was right around the time I returned to work), her whole temperament changed. But, then she actually started to sleep less, because she suddenly felt like eating. And, as for independent play... pshaw! She still wanted to be carried and paid attention to all of the time, although she was less crabby about it. Anyway, the real relief came when she was almost 5 months old and we could start using her Exersaucer. She hated every other single thing we ever tried to set her down in (swing, fancy schmancy baby seat, car seat, floor, etc...). But the Exersaucer was a big hit. She'll do 15- 20 minutes in there! Doesn't sound like much, but it meant a lot to me at the time to be able to get that much of a break. Then, the next big relief came with her ability to roll over, and then to sit up, and so on. Over time she's become much more independent. She still needs to be carried and paid attention to a lot. I pick her up when she needs picking up, and then put her down again. That was the mistake I made early on. I never put her down. Because I was sure she would fuss. But, now I'm better at reading her signals and know when I can put her down without creating a big scene. So, just wanted to share that with you, and let you know that I empathize and that it does get better. It seems like an eternity before it does, but it does. By the way.... it concerns me that you said your son cries all day. Any health issues??? Undefined colic should have subsided by now. When babies don't feel well, they tend to want to be carried more. Just a thought. MB
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I read your response to Roll Call, and have wanted to chat with you since, so am making a point of it now.