Posted by Teacher on July 14, 2003 at 14:15:24:
In Reply to: All teachers--please respond! :) posted by Liz on July 14, 2003 at 13:56:32:
Liz,
You are in a unique situation with being due in the same school year that you will announce your pregnancy in. Therefore, I would go to your payroll office as soon as school starts back up and make arrangements with them. In my district they will stretch out your paycheck so that you will not miss the two+ months pay as much as you might miss it when March suddenly hits. In other words, I'm taking my full 12 weeks of maternity leave from September through December (we have two weeks off during the fall so it gives me a lot more time than normal). However, they will take my 9 mos. of pay and stretch it out over the entire year so that I won't go without pay during that time off--but you need to talk with them early on in the year for them to consider doing that. Make sense?
On the not being married, I'm afraid you will run into troubles with parents and students. Administration might also look down on it, but legally they don't have a reason to take your job from you. It would be so much easier if you had already been married and had already made that commitment. I think it might be more difficult with you teaching younger children because the parents know that their children assume all women having babies have husbands. I have taught Kindergarten, 1st grade and 2nd grade and so I see how their little minds work and how protective parents can be. So you do need to consider how you might respond to a child or parents asking you about it. I'm not necessarily saying that you owe them an explanation, but it would be good to plan ahead on how you would respond.
I can tell you that this year is the first year I witnessed a teacher get pregnant outside of marriage. She had only been dating the guy for a month (I know, pretty shocking). Even though I personally believe in being married before having sex, I know that many others do not. I felt sad for the teacher as she was having to make decisions that would affect the rest of her life based partly on what everyone else thought and also based on her own guilty conscience (as she, herself, believed that premarital sex was wrong). The girl decided to have a quick wedding and they were married for the last 6 months of the pregnancy. I don't believe the students or parents knew about any of it, but the rest of the school did. Luckily, God has worked wonders in their marriage thus far. I know that I worried for her, deeply, but they handed their lives over to God and he healed them. It's sad that they didn't get to experience the "honeymoon" years of their marriage getting to bond and grow as a couple before bringing a child into the world, but again, God works in mysterious ways when you hand your troubles and concerns over to Him.
I'm not suggesting this to be the best plan of action (to get married) unless you are truly in love with this man and had already committed to marrying him. I'm sure you've heard of "two wrongs don't make a right" so I would never suggest you marrying him because you are afraid
of what others will think. You and BF need to sit down and talk about what you want for the two of you--make a plan, pray about it, and ask other well-respected friends and family for guidance. They will hopefully help you through this more that this board can.
A baby is such a blessing--it's so good that you are thinking ahead and trying to make the best plans for your baby's life. I'll be sending up a prayer for you and your BF as you discover what God would have you to do in this situation. Keep us posted on future plans!
Tight hugs,
~Teacher
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