Posted by Gilan on June 24, 2003 at 09:44:54:
In Reply to: Re: unhappily married with children posted by Diane on June 24, 2003 at 05:45:40:
: Hello.I am new to this board,and I don't know if you would like my advice.Anyways I was married to a man like that for 5 years.We had a little boy together.Things didn't start that way though.But it got to the point where he would yell,and raise his voice over stupid things. I didn't want my son around that. So anyways we finally got a divorce,and we each get out son.I have him for a week,then he has him for a week. This is working for us. He too used to cry,and beg me almost not to leave him but finally I had to. We still talk as friends,and we get along better.I haven't heard him yell over something stupid in a long time,and he doesn't yell around our son when he has him as far as I know. I thought that staying together would do more damage to our son then being back and forth. He still has his mother,and father they are just away from eachother,and slightly happier.I am not saying I didn't still love him when I divorced,it was just for the best.
I have to agree, and what if he escalates and eventually pushes or hits you. You may not think he is capable right now,but i thought that of an ex of mine until he pushed me into a wall, luckily we had no kids and I left him and I am now married to a wonderful man and we have a DS. You said it yourself he never changes. You CAN do it on your own, you CAN make a wonderful life for your children.You won't be taking them away from their Father,it's up to him to make the decision to see his children,they are only young now,but they will soon see how he is and that is not good. Maybe try a 'trial separation with counselling'.I wish you the best of luck and please let us know,and I think should post here,b/c everything that happens to you ultimatly effects the children.