Posted by Debbie on August 05, 2003 at 17:31:03:
I'll try and be short with this one. My 20 month old son is probably going thru another phase (I hope) - he's thrown tantrums (I mean full fledged throw yourself on the ground and roll into the walls and kick everything in sight tantrums) since he was 9 months old. Now, he has become somewhat aggressive towards others and objects. When he gets angry or when he gets hurt (for example, he falls down) or frustrated, he picks up anything in sight to throw or he runs and hits any object in his sight (including my television, his toychest, his sister, me, etc.). He's also shrieking (not like the finding your voice scream) when he doesnt get what he wants or when he is playing with his sister and she takes something away or does something he doesn't like.
I use 123 Magic w/my daughter and most of the time it works - counting to 3 and then time out(there's a little more to it than that though its a great book). But I think he is still to young - he doesnt understand yet on how to express his feelings without aggression.
Now, my ped. says time outs for the behavior, ignore the shrieking. I've been doing time outs and I feel like they are serving no purpose - its almost like disciplining him for having feelings. I'm quite sure he knows he shouldn't throw things or hit, but at 20 months - come on, I cant expect him to be able to control impulsive behavior yet or deal with his feelings in a more mature way.
So I'm looking for suggestions - I've done 123, time outs, redirected activity, ignored behavior and shrieking and toddler talked to him - ie. "no throwing", "are you angry", "we dont yell", "tell mommy what happened" etc. etc. etc.
Fire away with your suggestions and thoughts!!!
Thanks in advance.