Posted by Elizabeth on August 20, 2003 at 00:06:54:
In Reply to: Re: Off topic question regarding harvest crusade. posted by Dana on August 19, 2003 at 13:43:48:
Thank you for being so kind and offering your E-mail address to me but for now I really don't want my husband to find out I am E-mailing my problems to people. I don't think he will like it much. I really do appreciate all of your great input though. In addition, I think that I am going to have a talk with him about becoming a pastor. You're right, I don't believe it is right for someone to become a pastor without first being a long-term Christian. My family and I are still Catholic, although he has invited me to go to Christian church and may go and see what it is like. He also has not been to any retreats in the Catholic church or anything like that either. He says that the harvest crusade made him closer to the Lord and has never felt anything like it. I also believe that a person doesn't need to become a pastor to better themselves. I believe he is doing great now with going to church, reading the bible, going to bible studies, his anger management classes, psychologist. He has been living with us again in a separate room for 2 weeks now and looks like a completely different person. If he could continue that, I think he would do okay.
Anyway, to answer your questions, well I am not sure where to start but I'll start by saying that my husband and I come from totally different backgrounds. He is a radiologist and I was a nurse but now an at-home MT. I come from a very loving family and my parents have a near perfect marriage. I always dreamed of having a marriage like theirs. He comes from a family where he was never shown any love and where he was abused. His father has always been abusive to his mother.
When I dated him, he was very kind. I got married young. We have been married for 12 years. Things started going downhill after we had our kids. We had our first child after 6 years of marriage. He tended to not handle daily life stressors very well and would explode and many times went overboard. He does have some very good qualities though. He is a good father, helps me clean the house, does grocery shopping, although I always insisted but he always wanted to be helpful and other good qualities. I know he has never cheated on me. I have proof. Cheating is also something I would never tolerate because I would never be able to forget something like that. It is just his very bad temper that escalates.
As I mentioned above, he has been living with us again. Our other house is being rented out right now, so he decided to live with his parents. He called me up one day crying hysterically that he could not stand living with his family any longer due to seeing the way they treat eachother and I felt that being in that environment would not help him much either, so I told him he could come stay with us again in another room but that if he acted the way he did in the past, I would tell him to leave for good. He has been very kind. Things that would have normally upset him, he handles in a very patient manner. Many times late at night I will go to the kitchen and find him watching religious shows or reading his bible or anger management book.
My kids look very happy with him. It makes me feel good to see them like that. I always believe a person deserves a second chance. God forgave. If he messes up again, then at least I know I will feel good knowing that I tried my best and did give him that chance to make a miracle happen.
You're right! Life stinks sometimes, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I hope everything turns out okay with your boys.
Also, you mention that you have been called to become a pastor. From the information you have given me and how it is one of the most difficult jobs, I don't think I want my husband to become one. I will keep talking to him.
Thank you for your help and the great stories. I appreciate everything.