Posted by Nicole K on September 07, 2003 at 22:38:20:
In Reply to: Re: Time Outs posted by Mels on September 07, 2003 at 11:22:36:
: : I was reading the thread below about spanking and disciplining. Most parents said that timeouts were quite effective.
: : This may be a stupid question but how exactly do timeouts work besides just sitting them in quiet spot alone.
: Hi...that's pretty much how they work. It serves three purposes. One: It teaches them how to calm themselves down (over time). Two: They're not doing anything "fun" for that time, and they want to get back to the fun stuff, so over time, they try to avoid behavior that will get them a time-out. Three: It lets YOU cool down. B/c let me tell you...from one parent to another...it can get to the point where you don't feel calm at all!
: Usually, it's one minute per year. So if you have a four-year-old, she would stay in Time Out for four minutes. If she gets up out of the chair, she has to sit back down starting over again for four minutes. If she says it isn't fair, you explain calmly and VERY BRIEFLY that it is to calm down b/c her behavior isn't in control.
: She can't speak to you or do anything during time out...she just sits in her chair. Don't watch her; don't rub it in that she has to sit there. Just leave the room (but listen/watch, unobtrusively, to be sure she's staying in the Time Out).
: That's about it! It might seem impossible at first to keep a child in a chair, but just keep telling her when she gets up, "You broke the Time Out rule, and now Mom is resetting the timer for four minutes again. Get yourself under control and then you can play again."
: How old is your child?
Thank you so much for the information regarding Time Outs. My son is turning one tomorrow (Sept 8th) so he is still very young but I just want to be prepared and informed on how to go about effectively discipling him.
Eveything you said makes sense and I also agree that spanking should always try to be avoided if at all possible. I was spanked when I was a child and all it made me do is resent my mother.