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Re: Work or stay-at-home?

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Posted by Chelsea on September 10, 2003 at 17:55:36:

In Reply to: Re: Work or stay-at-home? posted by Elizabeth on September 10, 2003 at 16:55:29:

: : For nearly four weeks now, I have been something similar to a single parent. My husband is working on a very important new project at work. He leaves for work before I wake up in the morning and returns home very late. He has been working every weekend. I am on my own with my two kids. I do everything alone. I have to take my kids wherever I go - grocery, haircut or for a walk. I have absolutely NO help from hubby with any of the housework. He does not seem the least grateful because he is so stressed out from his deadlines. On the contrary, he expects me to be patient, understanding and thankful because he is doing all this for "us". He keeps telling me that it will be like this for "some more time". I have reached the threshold of my tolerance limit. I am afraid I am going to blow up soon. The only thing that keeps me going is that I still manage to go to the gym for an hour while my neighbour watches my kids.

: : My husband is very career oriented and fiercly ambitious. This year has been a turning point in his career. I am scared to think of what is going to happen when I return to work in October. I too have a demanding job and I have my deadlines and ups and downs too. He does make enough money for all of us to live very comfortably. The thought of quitting my job has crossed my mind, but I am afraid that I will turn into a grumpy, overworked housewife. On the other hand, I am paranoid that our kids will be neglected badly if I go back to work. This is such a dilemma. I cannot go back part-time. I have been on maternity leave for almost a year. I either return full time or lose my job. I guess I can look for a new part-time job, but my current job is fantastic. I would appreciate any input from anyone who has some good advice. Thanks. And sorry this so long.

: Hi Marie!

: It seems like we all have problems in one way or another. As you and I talked before, I was having other problems with my husband but not in the matter of house cleaning, etc. I am thankful for that. Things between us have been great so far.

: I know how you are feeling. I quit my job and also wanted to become a doctor, but I felt being with my kids was more important, so I decided to go to school so I could get a job working at home. It is great because I only work when my children are asleep and work when I want. You could try to do something like that or go to work part-time or quit all togeterh. Sometimes money is not everything and is especially if your husband can financially support you and your family.

: I think your kids need you, especially if your husband isn't able to be around much. It will cause more problems because then both of you are going to be overworked and stressed from both of your jobs, you won't have time to do much of your housework, and you won't be able to spend much time with your children. If both parents cannot spend a lot of time with the children, I believe at least one should.

: Good luck and let us know what you decide.

: Thank you.

Hi Marie,
I am a SAHM. I had every intention of going back to work after my son was a couple months old but decided that I would rather be home with him. However, there are those days I would love to get out of the house for 8 hours! LOL I think it's a personal sacrifice and a personal decision. I know some moms that HAVE to work and some that choose to work as well as other SAHMs. I believe you have to go with your gut on this one.
It is MY opinion that if you can stay home with them then do. I personally couldn't deal with someone else caring for my son. He drives me up the wall and how is someone that doesn't love him going to deal with that? Will they have the same amount of patience and TLC as I would? The time your children have with you is precious and short. Soon enough they'll be off to school.

When my children are in school, I plan to return to work part-time so I can be home when they get home. I'll always appreciate and admire my mother for being home for me.

Good luck Marie!

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