Posted by rycheymac on September 12, 2003 at 10:13:57:
In Reply to: Smacked my child today; I feel horrible! posted by Elizabeth on September 11, 2003 at 18:09:22:
: I said I would never spank my children and can honestly say I never have but today I did not know how to handle the situation. My 2 girls and I were playing in the dirt with their sand toys and told them it was time to come in because they needed to get washed up for lunch. My 3-year-old screamed and said no. I told her we could play a little longer and then we have to go back in for sure and she said "okay mommy." After we played some more I told her we had to go back in. She kept screaming so loud like I was killing her. She was sounding like the exorcist, kicking on the floor. I was carrying my other girl so she would not burn her feet on the cement as I was getting ready to walk in. Meanwhile, my 3-year-old gets so upset that she screams some more saying she was going to stay out there. She starts running around the car and I was trying to catch her to grab her by the hand. She runs into the street and a car honks very loud. She almost got ran over. I have always explained to her not to go in the street and that she has to hold my hand and we have to look both ways. She was just so mad that she didn't even care. I told her we needed to go inside. She threw herself on the floor kicking. I told her to get up and would not listen. I also could not leave her out there by herself. She again got mad and ran ready to go into the street again. I grabbed her arm and gave her one hard smack on the bottom. I feel very guilty for that because I said I would never strike my kids. I was just at the point where I did not know what else to do. After I smacked her on the bottom. She right away said, "mommy, I'm sorry, I love you, I will listen." I told her I love her too, that I was sorry, and that I don't like to get upset but she needs to try to listen more often. Lately, my girls have not been listening. Sometimes I think it is a stage because I have friends and cousins that have kids this age and are acting that way too.
: How would you have handled this situation?
I probably would have done the same thing.When your child runs on to the street..that had to be scary for both you and her. I will admit I used to spank my oldest, a slap on the bum(never bare)But I chose that I shoudnt need to do that with my middle and youngest.And feel such regret for doing it with my oldest during her toddler yrs. I remember a incident when I told her we had to leave the park(she was about 2and some)and I put her in the stoller kicking and screaming..it was about a 3 block walk home and she screamed the whole way home.
But Elizabeth, don't dwell on it..you have still made a decision to not spank and it sounds like you still will stick to it. as for you DD's behaviour I too think it is a stage, just stick to your guns and don't budge.... oh I read once for young ones.. give them specifics..EG: when you go to a birthday party tell your little one "after the presents are all opened ,we go home" and stick to it. Be specific. Don't just up and say it's time to go..