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Re: Stepdaughter Terror (Long)

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Posted by robin on September 14, 2003 at 11:52:18:

In Reply to: Stepdaughter Terror (Long) posted by Karen on September 04, 2003 at 18:38:27:

: I got married 8 months ago and have had ongoing problems getting along with my 8 year old stepdaughter. It’s been causing considerable problems between my husband and me. All he sees is a very intelligent adorable little girl (which, admittedly she is MOST of the time), but not the stubborn and willful little manipulator that she turns into when she doesn’t get her own way.

sounds like u guysneed some internvention..i wouldnothave put up with that in no way,...my dd does stuff behind my back to my new dh...but i o not stand for it..she get timeout and yelled at if she was his own...and i tel her she loves her..and wantherhappy and safe and if she cant deal with that then she will and i mean will be dealing with me....!!

causei donot tolerate that...he is the same as me even if it not blood...and if she does anyting manipulative or doesnt listen..then its as bad as ifshe was doing it to me....she knows..this very well know..and sheis also 8...he thinkins i look the other way what he doesnt see isme repremanding her forher actions..maybe u need some cumminication intervention...or for the three of u to sit down and set some limits...for u are her parent now and sheneds to treat u with the same respect...andfherself as well

: I am still furious at both of them for a little incident that happened last week. I took the little darling shopping for new school clothes because I thought it would be a pleasant little bonding experience for the two of us – usually she is very much into new clothes. When we got to the store, she suddenly throws a temper tantrum and demands to go home. After a few minutes she announces that if I don’t take her home immediately she was going to “make” in her pants. I, of course, explained to her that the store had a bathroom and if she had to go we could go there. She repeated her threat to go in her pants and I repeated my offer to take her to the ladies’ room in the store.

: I never imagined that she’d actually go through with it, but when she finally realized that she wasn’t getting her way, daddy’s little angel squatted down right there in the store and made a mess in her panties. Needless to say, I was absolutely stunned that even she would do something like this and completely frustrated that now I had no choice but to take her home as she obviously couldn’t try on clothes in this condition. Nevertheless, I remained calm and was determined that this was going to be her problem and not mine.

: Once home, she threw another tantrum when I informed her that since she did it on purpose, I wasn’t going to clean up the mess for her. I told her that she was confined to her room until she cleaned herself up and washed out her messy underwear. At first, she flat out refused to do the cleanup, but after about 15 minutes, she got a washcloth and cleaned herself. But she left her soiled panties sitting uncleaned in the bathroom sink. She spent the next 2 hours or so, sitting quietly in her room stubbornly refusing to clean the underwear.

: That’s when my darling husband comes home. When I told him what happened, I naturally thought that he’d back me up. After talking to the little angel for maybe 10 minutes, I suddenly find my husband in the bathroom cleaning out the messy panties for her. Then when she apologized (to him but not to me!), he took her out for ice cream.

: Its 5 days later and I’m still so angry, I don’t know what to say to my husband.

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