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Re: Nightmares

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Posted by Phil on October 01, 2003 at 09:49:11:

In Reply to: Nightmares posted by Kelly M on October 01, 2003 at 06:05:39:

Well, I'm no expert, but I have a few thoughts:

Dreams are usually symbolic. What happens in dreams frequently have very little to do with what's going on in your real life.

For example, have you ever had a dream where your teeth fell out? This is a very common dream. A lot of studies have been done on dream symbols and because this one is so common, psychologists have come up with a pretty concrete symbol for it - In dreams, teeth represent power - and when you dream of your teeth falling out, typically it means you feel as though you are losing control over a certain situation, or you may even feel powerless.

Your dreams about death and kidnapping are pretty common themes too - but unlike the teeth thing, there isn't necessarily a concrete meaning to them. After waking from one of these dreams, you may want to write down a few details - such as, what were the circumstances of the death... was it sudden, was it after a prolonged illness? Were you actually there to witness the death? Did you somehow cause it? Are there any other notable details to the dream?

As for the kidnapping, due to the very strong victim/perpetrator roles in such a case, it may be easier to figure out what your subconscious is telling you. But still, you need to ask a few questions - who was kidnapped? Who kidnapped them? What are the circumstances? How do you feel about the situation?

My guess would be there's a link between your troubles with your inlaws and these dreams. Obviously this situation troubles you and you are struggling with what you should do about it. Maybe the death of your children in your dreams is really symbolic of the metaphorical "death" of the relationship with your inlaws? And the kidnapping could be about feeling vulnerable without your familial support.

Or maybe you feel you should be punished somehow for the fight... and what worse punishment than to lose those who you love the most.

I mean, you see these people on the street, you must have been pretty close to them prior to the big fight. Having a fight and then cutting all ties with people close to you can be pretty traumatic. And what with having a baby and all those hormones running around your body, things might have gotten a little out of proportion.

My advice? Mend the fences. If your inlaws give you gifts, accept them graciously. I don't know what the circumstances were of the fight, and I probably don't need to know. I would guess that the fight is something that could be forgotten if just one person (and I'd suggest you do it) steps up and says "let's be done with this." And if they want to carry it on, well, so be it. You've done your part. And I'll bet doing this may help you get rid of those dreams.

Hope this helps.

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