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Re: 1st B.day, and horrible inlaws

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Posted by Rowena on October 01, 2003 at 16:13:31:

In Reply to: 1st B.day, and horrible inlaws posted by Kelly M on October 01, 2003 at 05:11:03:

Everyone is different. Everyone would have a different opinion to offer on this, depending on the individual's personal experiences.

Each person interpretes others behavior in different ways. Very often problems develop when we see a particular behaviour and assume we know what the person is thinking and feeling. Most often we are incorrect. The only way you can truly know what a person thinks or feels is to ask them.

Possibly your inlaws are offering gifts as a means of trying to make amends. At the very least they are reaching out (even if it is a little late). Maybe you need to meet them half way and put an end to the feuding. After all it takes two to fight and two to make up. It may be time to invite them around to sit down and discuss your problems like adults (even if it's only for the sake of your children).

Possibly you mother inlaw is not withholding visits because she can't be bothered. Maybe she's not completely sure she's welcome. Do you ever invite her around?

These type of family feuds are common. But it requires far more energy to fight and argue than to get along. Your children watch your every move. How you manage conflict provides important lessons for them and will help them to either learn to deal with and manage conflict effectively... or not.

Cheers Rowena

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