Posted by Rowena on October 04, 2003 at 17:50:45:
In Reply to: Help I think my marriage is falling apart!! posted by Samantha on October 04, 2003 at 15:38:06:
You are not alone in what you are experiencing. Adjusting to the role of parenting can place a huge strain on even to best of relationships. As Shana recommended, if you can enourage your husband to go to counselling, it may help at lot.
Men often take longer to adjust to the responsibilities of being a parent and although many men don't cope well with a young baby, they often prove themselves to be wonderful fathers once the child is more independant and capable of doing more things with them. That's not to say there are not many wonderful fathers who are offer full on support to their partners from the beginning. Unfortunately, I didn't get one of those.
I went though a similar experience to you, myself when I had my youngest child. I felt I didn't care for my husband and wanting to leave him. I later discovered much of the reason for that was that I was suffering with Post-partum Depression. Neither my husband nor I knew how do deal with that until I sort help. (The urge to run away is often a symptom of depression). Things slowly improved. It took time. But we worked through it.
We have recently celebrate our 22 year anniversary and I can honestly say I love him more now than I ever did. I am so happy that I didn't leave him those many years ago and that my children have had their father in their lives every day.
I hope all works out well for you. It's worth the effort to try.