Posted by Shana on November 10, 2003 at 16:08:49:
In Reply to: I know this is a parenting board, but I need opinions! posted by Lonely on November 10, 2003 at 16:00:48:
: I know there are a lot of very cool, intelligent people here, so I wanted to get your opinions on something: open marriage.
: Here's the scenario: My husband and I are miserable together. There is absolutely nothing between us anymore. We sleep in separate bedrooms, we have sex maybe once every 3 months, and when we are in the same room, we fight constantly.
: We have a one-year-old daughter who means everything to both of us. This is why divorce doesn't seem to be a pleasant option for us. There is no way that either of us could bear to be separated from our little girl.
: I can already hear all of you saying, "Marriage counseling!" But I am very skeptical of that idea. I don't see how a counselor could teach me how to love my husband again.
: This is where the idea of open marriage comes in. I would love to be able to spend time (and I don't mean just sexually) with other men, as I am very lonely for companionship and conversation. This way my husband and I could raise our daughter together, but not feel trapped in a loveless, unhappy marriage.
: So, my question to you is, have you ever known anyone who has had a successful open marriage? And what do you think of the whole idea? I just want honest opinions please. But keep in mind that the only other alternative is divorce. Thanks in advance for your ideas and opinions.
When I was 16, I applied for a housekeeping job for this "married" couple. They had seperate bedrooms and totally seperate lives. When offered the job, I didn't take it as I thought "How weird are they?". But now almost 2 years into my marriage, with an adorable 15 month old by my side, I think HOW AWESOME that must be. I tried counseling (did nothing), I spoke with drs thinking it was a post partum thing... NOTHING! In all honesty hubby showed his "dark side" after the birth of our son! I think as long as a couple has an understanding and they have drawn out guidelines as to what will be done with all situations, it is a terrific idea. I may be the "weird" one now, however remember the Leave It To Beaver days? They had seperate beds. LMAO! I think far too often... men and women can be better off as "friends". As long as there is maturity on both parts, unlike my situation! LOL! Good luck!